Lessons for Women from God's Word

A Wise Woman: Lesson #6 Priorities, Part B

As we saw in the previous lesson, our top priority should be to spend time daily in fellowship with the Lord, listening to and talking with Him. Unless we see this as our greatest need, we will never truly be the godly women that God intends for us to be. Number two on the list of priorities, for the married woman, is her husband. "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." (Proverbs 12:4) A virtuous woman is a woman of valor, strength, great worth. This kind of woman is a joy and crown to her husband. A woman that disappoints her husband and causes him shame is a woman who eats away at his strength, who tears down everything that he does. She is like a disease that causes decay of the bones.

There are only two kinds of wives--those who build up, and those who tear down--and you are either one or the other. There is no middle of the road. The theme verse for our study booklet makes that clear: "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." (Proverbs 14:1)

What are some positive things that a wise woman can do to build a strong relationship with her husband and truly be his crown and joy?

Say "I Love You!"

A good place to start is to make a habit of saying these three words daily, and meaning them, no strings attached. Not, I love you if.... Not, I love you but.... Not, I love you when....

We must learn to love unconditionally, sacrificially, just as God loves us. Isn't it exciting to know that God loves each one of us individually, period! He loves us even though we are sinners. "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) This is agape love, love that does not seek something for itself, but seeks the best for others. It is other-centered, not self-centered. God did not try to change us or wait until we pleased Him before He loved us. He loved us as we were. He loves us as we are. We are loved and accepted by Him because of the Lord Jesus Christ, His beloved. (See Ephesians 1:6.) We must love and accept our husbands in the same way, giving ourselves 100% to please them and meet their needs, not concerned about what we can get in return.

Read and meditate on I Corinthians chapter 13 often. Think about how these characteristics of love mirror God's amazing love for you. Ask God to help you make these characteristics of love a part of your own life, that His life may flow out through you toward your husband and toward others. This kind of love is not an option; it is an obligation. Show "I Love You!"

It is one thing to say the words "I love you," and another thing to show, by your actions, that you really mean them. We need to show our husband that we love him above anyone else on this earth. Can your husband see by your actions, and by your attitudes, that he has first place in your life, next to the Lord Jesus Christ? Do you try to please Him in everything? even when it is inconvenient for you? or when you have already had a busy day and are tired? or when you'd rather do something else? or when he wants to talk about something or engage in some activity that you think is boring? If you truly love your husband with the kind of love that only comes through a right relationship with God, and if you truly love the Lord, then you can do anything that is really important to you. And as you do what is right because it pleases the Lord, you will find that even the things that were once dull and boring and inconvenient for you will become a great delight for you because you are doing it for someone you love. "The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way." (Psalm 37:23) "I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart." (Psalm 40:8)

And you will find that, even though you may be tired, the Lord will renew your strength as you wait upon Him. "He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:29-31)

What can you do to show your husband that you truly love Him? Here are a few suggestions; and as you pray and ask the Lord to help you in this area, I am sure that He will show you many specific ways in which you can please your own husband.

1. Keep yourself clean, well-groomed, and nicely dressed at all times, for him

2. Even if it is very early, get up and fix breakfast for him (if that is what your husband wants)

3. When he comes home from work, greet him with a hug and kiss; inquire about his day, and be genuinely interested

4. When he is home, give him hugs and kisses throughout the day; or sit by him and hold his hand, smile at him; and, of course, remember to tell him often that you love him

5. Thank him for things that he does for you, and just for the things that you appreciate about his character

6. Have his meals ready on time, and fix things that he likes even if you don't like them

7. Put a note in his lunch box now and then, telling him that you love him, or sharing something special that God has done for you or a verse that has been especially meaningful to you

8. Find creative ways to make his birthday, spiritual birthday, your anniversary, or other special days even more special

9. Be frugal, thrifty, prudent, careful in the use of finances

10. Keep the home looking nice

11. When he wants to talk, listen to him, really listen

12. Take a genuine interest in things that he enjoys--hobbies, sports, pastimes--even if they are not things that you particularly enjoy; and get involved with him in these things

13. Be ready to apologize, forgive, and be the one to end an argument. Even if you may be right, be willing to be wrong. Don't insist on being right and don't keep pressing an issue. Never nag, preach, shed tears, or finagle to get your own way.

14. Never downgrade your husband before others or before your children--let others see by your words and actions how much you love your husband; set a godly example for your children so that they will know how to be a godly spouse some day

15. If it is necessary for you to give your opinion on something, always weigh your words carefully before you speak; never speak accusingly or arrogantly.

There are probably hundreds more creative things that you can do and say to show your husband that you love him. Use your imagination! Pray and ask the Lord for His help. And as you strive to tell and show your husband how much you love him, don't be surprised to find your love for your husband growing. As you make the Lord your first priority and then, in obedience to the Lord, make your husband your second priority, don't be surprised to find yourself loving, serving, and submitting to your husband with great delight, as you do unto the Lord.

Applying the lesson: Do a Bible study on I Corinthians 13:4-8a and memorize this portion of Scripture. Take a concordance and a dictionary, and look up the meanings of the words that characterize love (charity). Write down your findings. Print out a neat copy of your study so that you may refer to it often. After you find out the meanings of the words that characterize love, read the passage again, putting your name in place of the word charity to see if you manifest that kind of love in your life. Do it prayerfully, with a teachable heart, ready to receive reproof, correction, and instruction from the Lord.

--The only people we should try to get even with are those who have done us good.--

"Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. Say not thou, What is the cause that the former days were better than these? for thou dost not inquire wisely concerning this." Ecclesiastes 7:8-10

Memorize Proverbs 12:4

(All Scripture verses quoted from KJV)

written by Mrs. Y submitted by Sue C. by permission from Mrs. Y

About the Author

Having been raised in a God-fearing home on the mission field of Papua New Guinea, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour at an early age. My godly mother has taught me many precious things from the Bible, and I long to share some of these things with others.